Are you reading cookbooks?

That is the title of a Chris Brogan blog post. I would kind of like to pretend it was inspired by a tweet I posted "Information is not knowledge" by Albert Einstein. There have been a couple other things that I have seen lately that pertain to these statements...

Chris Brogan's post is that if you are simply reading cookbooks you aren't doing anything. You can have all the cookbooks in the world, but that doesn't make you a cook. Reading and thinking about things won't get you there.

You have to DO.

I have tons of "cookbooks" about anything that has caught my interest. I have been reading and thinking and planning, but not executing. I see things that get me excited to DO something, but then drop the ball...

So what is the answer for me?

JUST DO IT!

I have listened to Darren Hardy's book, "The Compound Effect," on CD.  Logical, smart, should be so easy. But is it just another cookbook? Or am I going to follow through?

Old Dog, Relearning the Tricks

Logan & Hanna pushing Connor in the stroller outside of Temple Square

My SIL is in his senior year at BYU and will graduate in April 2013.  We are incredibly proud of him and Hanna, his beautiful wife (who also happens to be our daughter).  He has risen to the challenge of BYU, and having graduated from Mercer, Hanna supported the family and worked through a difficult pregnancy.  They are both now working hard to establish their little family.

We just returned from our Thanksgiving visit to their little apartment in Provo, UT.  Hanna has fixed it up on a total shoestring budget and it looks wonderful.  (My mother said anyone could decorate great with money -- the real talent is decorating when you don't have any money!)  She is doing a great job... THEY are doing a great job.  From our little window into their world, in the four plus years they've been married they have become a true couple -- real partners in this life.  It's a beautiful thing to see.

And I learned a few things while I was there... or should I say "relearned...?"  One is that whatever role you are filling, do it with heart and soul.  Like Hanna.  When Connor was born this past spring she said that she finally feels she "found" herself.  She had become a wonderful and supportive wife, and now is  rapidly doing the same as a mother.  It's obvious in the way she's learning and putting what she's learned into practice.  You can tell she's in her element.  She is embracing her role as wife & mother.  She's embraced her role as an eternal partner to her husband.

Logan...  he tried and tried to get an internship this past summer, but it always eluded him.  It was hard on him.  Looking back it's almost easy to say it's because he needed to be home for Hanna and Connor for those first few months -- Hanna was a very new mom with no baby experience.  He did need to be home and that was a blessing. Other things seemed to "align" just right for them, too.  Easy to see in hindsight.  

What I "relearned" from Logan is to keep trying.  He recently landed a good job with Zion's Bank.  BUT it was only after sending out more than 50 resumes. He kept putting himself out there and didn't give up.  I had forgotten that.  I sent out nearly 100 when I graduated college (none of which landed me a job, but that's another story).  After having a good career path where I was able to work my way up w/in the organization it's very difficult to get the mindset of starting all over again.  But I have to do that.

So bottom line, this old (relatively) old dog is relearning some good life lessons.  Wherever role I find myself playing, be the best I can be, and I HAVE to put myself out there, and out there, and out there until I find a good job again.  To have the faith that somehow it WILL work out.

Thanksgiving 2012

For Thanksgiving this year we were able to visit Utah;  Hanna, Logan, & Connor in Provo.  Even Trey escaped New Mexico for the week.  Traveling has always been an experience, and it was again this time.  JH was able to get us great prices on tickets, but it also meant a long layover at DFW (a very nice airport, BTW), which made for a long day of travel on either end of our trip.  So much better than running from flight to flight for sure.  I will take it any day!  But we were so blessed to have traveled on what seems like the least-traveled days as there were no lines, traffic to and from the airports was extremely light, and it all went so well it was scary.  

Connor & Grampa

We were able to catch up with our now six-month-old grandson, Connor.  Yes, I'm totally biased about members of my family, but he's a champ.  He's rolling around and on the hairy edge of crawling.  (As JH continually tells the kids, the "drool line" is about to be raised!)  He is nearly in perpetual smile mode - a happy boy and just about as good a baby as comes.  Even as a newborn he had a wonderful, expressive face, and that has only gotten more so. So it was nothing for him to make his way further into our hearts.  We are so happy for Hanna and Logan to be blessed with this little soul.  And he is a huge blessing to us all.

JH & Kids (Salt Lake Temple behind)

During the three days we actually spent there we were able to go to Temple Square, which I have seen twice in my life; once when on a family vacation when I was five and then on my way to the MTC.  We got there in the late afternoon the day before Thanksgiving.  Logan's new office is right across the street so as soon as he got off work he was able to join us.  Someday I will go back when I can spend more time, even going through the Salt Lake Temple.  

JH, Wade & Victor

We also visited JH's friends who relocated to the Salt Lake Valley from here a number of years ago.  JH still talks to Victor on a nearly daily basis, and when they started talking that evening it was like they hadn't seen each other in ages.  (Yeah, I thought women were gabby!)  Another dear friend was able to stop by, too. The Lord raised up such great friends for JH in these two good men.  It was a nice evening!

JH made his famous (to us) casseroles, showing Hanna how to do that, and then did up a big turkey on Thanksgiving.  I showed Hanna how to make gravy, although I'm not sure many people even eat it anymore.  *I* did and I think she did a great job, if I do say so myself.

Hanna and Logan were such wonderful hosts... they gave up their very comfortable bedroom to us and squished themselves on an air mattress in Connor's room.  Trey slept on the couch.  It was cozy in their little apartment, but it was full of family love.  Connor couldn't have been better with all the changes to his little world.

It was a good trip.  If you haven't heard it before.... I hate living so very far from family!!!

What Matters Most

 (originally written in 2009)

I got a call from my brother-in-law, Mike, tonight. I first got a voice message. I saw a call from him and I will admit that my heart dropped and I had this horrible feeling that something had happened to my sister, Barb. She had been having so many health problems and Mike never calls so...

I was so thankful to first hear the message of him telling me that she is at the Mayo Clinic and things are looking up. And thank goodness for health insurance. (See? It does work the way we have it now.) So I called him back and we talked an hour.

He spoke about how when they first married 39 years ago she was his best friend. Then over the years they drifted apart and he admits he was anything but good to her. He has been working on that and now loves her more than ever. He can't get past how wrong he has been throughout his life, though, and wishes he had been smarter and made changes long ago. How much better their lives could have been.

He now knows what matters most.

I think he always knew it, but he got caught up in the "fog" of things. I'm so glad he knows it now. I'm so glad he knows it when he can still do something about it here in this life. He loves my sister. He wants to take care of her.

THAT is what matters most.

Babies, Babies Everywhere! How Lovely!

We're grandparents!  Yep, May 17, 2012, Connor Isaac Harris made his debut.  A big boy weighing in at over 9# and nearly 22" long.  Now at eight weeks he's over 25" long and almost 14#. 

He's healthy and a VERY HAPPY boy!  He has certainly wormed his way into our hearts and it's so unbelievably hard to be 2000 miles away. 

Now isn't this the absolute cutest face you've ever seen?  LOL! 

I got to go there for two weeks and "help" -- (I sure hope I did, anyway).  The sweetest part for me was that I was delegated to go wake Connor up each morning at 0800 to see if they could get him to sleep at night.  (Not gonna happen...).  Connor and I would spend a couple hours together -- him just being stinkin' cute and me in awe over the miracle of it all.

Mr. H. then came for the weekend of Connor's blessing.  In our church we baptize our children at eight years old, but when an infant, they are given a "name and a blessing."  It's very special and usually the first opportunity for the daddy to exercise his priesthood authority direct with his child (more on that later). 

At the beginning of our Sacrament Meeting, Mr. H. took his place among the other men in our SIL's family in the circle, each with his right hand towards the middle of the circle almost creating a nest, of sorts (my lame brain can't think of a better word, although I know there is one), that supported Connor.  Our SIL then announced Connor's full name as he will be know, and then as inspired by the Spirit, pronounced upon Connor a blessing from His Heavenly Father.

Amoung the wonderful things stated, Connor was blessed to be a joyful baby and child who would bring much happiness to his family.  He will be a "binding" agent for his family.  I have seen those things come to pass already.  WOW!!!

Four years ago our daughter and SIL made the commitment to be married (sealed) in the Orlando Temple for time and all eternity.  It was then that a new family, a new eternal family, was created.  Now Connor has blessed their home and already his influence has been felt.  He is a very, very special child in our family.  He gives us another glimpse of the circle of life, and indeed the desire to always be together.

We love you Hanna, Logan, and Connor!!!

Beginning to Know My Grandmother

@1906

My grandmother, Eitheline Marie (Pierce) Edwards (1885-1962), passed away when I six or seven.  We lived in Lake Bluff, IL, by then; just barely.  I didn't get to know her very well at all.  We did the family visits to Kansas nearly every summer; 2.5 days with Mom's family, 2.5 days with Dad's.  But what little kid hangs with the old people when there were cousins to play with and a gazillion things to do outside in the (oppressive) Kansas heat?

There are few things I remember about Grandma.  She was quiet.  She had a twinkle in her eye much like dad used to have.  (Dad favors her strongly.)  She was tired by the time I knew her.  Tired from a life of hard physical labor on a farm.  Making due with nothing.  Making use of every bit of everything.  In fact, I have a quilt top she made and I'm sure it was from clothes she and others used to wear...

1908 Wedding Picture

Grandma bore a daughter, then three sons, then much later another daughter..  Her daughter, her firstborn became ill before my father was born.  She died the year my father was born; I think she was about nine.  I'm sure it was so heartbreaking for my Grandmother.  So much so, that they went to the local children's home and adopted a girl who would have been about the same age as her lost daughter -- Faye was the adopted daughter's name.  I think she was 12.  Taken to the home by her parents because they could no longer afford to feed her (which is another long story).

By the time I remember Grandma, she had a dog.  A lap dog.  I never understood it.  Tinkerbell was a pekinese -- a very, very spoiled and nippy pekinese.  Tinkerbell was always sitting right next to Grandma on the chair.  Whenever we came near she growled and nipped at us.  I never could understand why Grandma wanted such a dog.  What was so special about that dog.  I didn't understand.

Until now. 

There is a loneliness that I think only women can understand as we get older.  Our "men" are off in their garages, workrooms, offices, lost in television and computer games. Or we are single again for one reason or another.  And we are here.  If we've been blessed to have children, for the most part those children are grown and gone. They have their own lives.  The house is empty.  We are alone.

Grandma never had anything nice in her life.  It was a hard life and she was dirt poor all 77 years.  But she finally had this dog.  This fancy schmancy dog. This beautiful, exotic dog with long hair who loved Grandma and never wanted to leave her side.  I think it was the first thing in her life that was not at all practical.  It was just for her.  Tinkerbell loved Grandma. She was her companion 24/7.

@1961 with Tinkerbell at our home in Madison, WI

Getting older, particularly as a woman, is definitely not for sissies.  And it can be a very lonely business.  So I can totally understand now why my Grandmother had her little dog and why Tinkerbell was so important to her.  I am beginning to know my Grandmother. 

Fit After 50 Women's Health Magazine

http://www.fit-after-50-womens-health-magazine.com/

Just found this link.  I haven't looked too far into it, but from the first page I picked up some tips.  Like doing yoga will probably be a good thing for me to keep stretched out and strong.  Yes, I've read that before, but I've never been in quite this bad shape before.  Nor this old! 

I'm 56, soon to be 57.  I cannot believe how quickly my ol' bod' has gone south in the past two years.  Also popping out are little arthritic bumps on a few of my fingers.  Now c'mon, this isn't me!  I'm not old enough.

Ah, denial.  I'm so good at it!  If I don't look it can't be true.  Like a baby who thinks that if she can't see you, you can't see her.

Ok, reality check. After seeing dozens of pictures on Pinterest show beautiful young and supremely fit women with motivational sayings, I wanted to see if there was anything out there that showed women my age and older becoming fit and staying that way.

I'm going kicking and screaming.  I don't want to be one of those people who give into to the aging process.  There are ways to keep our bodies fit and healthy.  But it takes work.  Work because my life depends on it. 

Miracles and Challenges of Mortal Life

Yes, this topic is HUGE. Obviously not going to even get past a few little thoughts to ponder here...

Yesterday just after lunch, a young couple we know welcomed their second child into this world. He is so loved and nurtured already. He has a big sister all of two years old. His parents started married life off with a commitment to each other and to the Lord by being married for time and all eternity in the temple. Such joy for them and all their extended family. Welcome Dallin!

Just over a week ago a woman we know, again through church, was admitted to the hospital and was diagnosed with pneumonia. I think she's around her early 40's; married with a 19 yr old son. On Wednesday last week her kidneys failed and she had to endure three days of almost constant dialysis. I visited her on Sunday and she was fighting the pneumonia, had on an oxygen mask, and although exhausted, she was as feisty as heck. Today I received a call from a friend who went to see her this morning -- she no longer remembers anything. Who she is, where she is. Nothing. Not her son, her husband, her parents, her family. She remembered the name "Joseph Smith," but not why (he's the first prophet of our church). The visitor went through her family names with her, and the patient wanted the visitor to sing a song for her. She sang her "I Am a Child of God." When the visitor was leaving, the patient said "celestial," and the visitor said yes, we want to go to the celestial kingdom. Then she said her husband's name, then her son's name. Was this from the visitor or is she remembering.

This woman has had so many health problems throughout her relatively short life. Including heart problems, migraines and epilepsy.

What kinds of challenges are we to face throughout this mortal existence? I have no doubt little Dallin will be nurtured and loved and given every kind of support and training his family can give him. Hopefully they will fill him with the strength to be able to withstand whatever comes his way.

My heart breaks for my other friend, the patient. Her husband is so totally overwhelmed that he can't hardly be there for her. Her parents are on a remote island serving a mission for our church. Her son is in Utah. Thank goodness we have many people who will step up and help, if they allow us.

Defining Goals Never Ends

It seems all my adult life I've been trying to figure out where I fit, what I should do, what am I good at, how do I want to make a living, but enjoy life at the same time.  I've been very blessed several times to "fall into" wonderful jobs.  Most recently (meaning just over 20 years ago) I was hired at NOSC (old name) which became SSCSD by the time I moved.  It is a US Navy R&D center and I was so blessed to work my way up to a position I really, really liked.  To top it off, I was working with the absolute best team of people on the face of the earth. 

Since then it's been a challenge.  I've had several jobs here in GA, most recently with a defense contractor.  Once the contract was complete, though, back in Oct 2010 I haven't worked a full-time job.  Still keeping busy, and counting my blessings each day for a husband who works hard and provides for us.

But the question still haunts -- what do I want to do when I grow up?  Interesting that a dear friend of mine, a registered nurse who is just younger than I am, is going through the same thing.  She doesn't have a problem finding work, but the schedule and place of work is her challenge.  She, too, is trying to figure out "where Heavenly Father" wants her. 

I'm approaching my 57th birthday and all that haunts me, too. My inner self wants to break out and really go for something.  But what?