What Matters Most

 (originally written in 2009)

I got a call from my brother-in-law, Mike, tonight. I first got a voice message. I saw a call from him and I will admit that my heart dropped and I had this horrible feeling that something had happened to my sister, Barb. She had been having so many health problems and Mike never calls so...

I was so thankful to first hear the message of him telling me that she is at the Mayo Clinic and things are looking up. And thank goodness for health insurance. (See? It does work the way we have it now.) So I called him back and we talked an hour.

He spoke about how when they first married 39 years ago she was his best friend. Then over the years they drifted apart and he admits he was anything but good to her. He has been working on that and now loves her more than ever. He can't get past how wrong he has been throughout his life, though, and wishes he had been smarter and made changes long ago. How much better their lives could have been.

He now knows what matters most.

I think he always knew it, but he got caught up in the "fog" of things. I'm so glad he knows it now. I'm so glad he knows it when he can still do something about it here in this life. He loves my sister. He wants to take care of her.

THAT is what matters most.

Babies, Babies Everywhere! How Lovely!

We're grandparents!  Yep, May 17, 2012, Connor Isaac Harris made his debut.  A big boy weighing in at over 9# and nearly 22" long.  Now at eight weeks he's over 25" long and almost 14#. 

He's healthy and a VERY HAPPY boy!  He has certainly wormed his way into our hearts and it's so unbelievably hard to be 2000 miles away. 

Now isn't this the absolute cutest face you've ever seen?  LOL! 

I got to go there for two weeks and "help" -- (I sure hope I did, anyway).  The sweetest part for me was that I was delegated to go wake Connor up each morning at 0800 to see if they could get him to sleep at night.  (Not gonna happen...).  Connor and I would spend a couple hours together -- him just being stinkin' cute and me in awe over the miracle of it all.

Mr. H. then came for the weekend of Connor's blessing.  In our church we baptize our children at eight years old, but when an infant, they are given a "name and a blessing."  It's very special and usually the first opportunity for the daddy to exercise his priesthood authority direct with his child (more on that later). 

At the beginning of our Sacrament Meeting, Mr. H. took his place among the other men in our SIL's family in the circle, each with his right hand towards the middle of the circle almost creating a nest, of sorts (my lame brain can't think of a better word, although I know there is one), that supported Connor.  Our SIL then announced Connor's full name as he will be know, and then as inspired by the Spirit, pronounced upon Connor a blessing from His Heavenly Father.

Amoung the wonderful things stated, Connor was blessed to be a joyful baby and child who would bring much happiness to his family.  He will be a "binding" agent for his family.  I have seen those things come to pass already.  WOW!!!

Four years ago our daughter and SIL made the commitment to be married (sealed) in the Orlando Temple for time and all eternity.  It was then that a new family, a new eternal family, was created.  Now Connor has blessed their home and already his influence has been felt.  He is a very, very special child in our family.  He gives us another glimpse of the circle of life, and indeed the desire to always be together.

We love you Hanna, Logan, and Connor!!!

Beginning to Know My Grandmother

@1906

My grandmother, Eitheline Marie (Pierce) Edwards (1885-1962), passed away when I six or seven.  We lived in Lake Bluff, IL, by then; just barely.  I didn't get to know her very well at all.  We did the family visits to Kansas nearly every summer; 2.5 days with Mom's family, 2.5 days with Dad's.  But what little kid hangs with the old people when there were cousins to play with and a gazillion things to do outside in the (oppressive) Kansas heat?

There are few things I remember about Grandma.  She was quiet.  She had a twinkle in her eye much like dad used to have.  (Dad favors her strongly.)  She was tired by the time I knew her.  Tired from a life of hard physical labor on a farm.  Making due with nothing.  Making use of every bit of everything.  In fact, I have a quilt top she made and I'm sure it was from clothes she and others used to wear...

1908 Wedding Picture

Grandma bore a daughter, then three sons, then much later another daughter..  Her daughter, her firstborn became ill before my father was born.  She died the year my father was born; I think she was about nine.  I'm sure it was so heartbreaking for my Grandmother.  So much so, that they went to the local children's home and adopted a girl who would have been about the same age as her lost daughter -- Faye was the adopted daughter's name.  I think she was 12.  Taken to the home by her parents because they could no longer afford to feed her (which is another long story).

By the time I remember Grandma, she had a dog.  A lap dog.  I never understood it.  Tinkerbell was a pekinese -- a very, very spoiled and nippy pekinese.  Tinkerbell was always sitting right next to Grandma on the chair.  Whenever we came near she growled and nipped at us.  I never could understand why Grandma wanted such a dog.  What was so special about that dog.  I didn't understand.

Until now. 

There is a loneliness that I think only women can understand as we get older.  Our "men" are off in their garages, workrooms, offices, lost in television and computer games. Or we are single again for one reason or another.  And we are here.  If we've been blessed to have children, for the most part those children are grown and gone. They have their own lives.  The house is empty.  We are alone.

Grandma never had anything nice in her life.  It was a hard life and she was dirt poor all 77 years.  But she finally had this dog.  This fancy schmancy dog. This beautiful, exotic dog with long hair who loved Grandma and never wanted to leave her side.  I think it was the first thing in her life that was not at all practical.  It was just for her.  Tinkerbell loved Grandma. She was her companion 24/7.

@1961 with Tinkerbell at our home in Madison, WI

Getting older, particularly as a woman, is definitely not for sissies.  And it can be a very lonely business.  So I can totally understand now why my Grandmother had her little dog and why Tinkerbell was so important to her.  I am beginning to know my Grandmother.